FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
