Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
