Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize
