Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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