New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
