You can't motorboat a personality
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
