ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
being pregnant is like rehab
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
