Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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