piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
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