if you like me you must not know who I am
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
