Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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