Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
