Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
