i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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