I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
