hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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