Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
