no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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