I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
