Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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