i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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