Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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