Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
