He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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