Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize