when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
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