so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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