Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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