The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Randomize