the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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