He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
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