It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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