Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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