I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
