just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
