You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Randomize
