We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Randomize