You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
