and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
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