Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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