You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Randomize
