I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Randomize
