just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
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