I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
