I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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