Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
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