she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
