and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
How external is "for external use only"?
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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