he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
