he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
We left an ass print on the piano.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
