It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
