I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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