lets start a swedish sibling band together
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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