it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
