He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
