I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
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