dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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