I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
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