Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
