You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
