Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
