Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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