Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
What a dumb baby whore.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Randomize
