he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Less talking, more tequila
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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