We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
