Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
