Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
