Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
