we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
