Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
what the fuck happened to the tacos
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
