should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
Randomize
