I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
