Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
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