Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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