from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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