Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize