Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize