I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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