Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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