It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
