thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
tell me about the fingering
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