she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
We are all done wearing pants today
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
