I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I've blown a few things in my day
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Randomize
